It’s quite obvious that any couple who are suffering from delayed ejaculation – where a man can’t ejaculate in a timely way during intercourse – have a serious sexual problem.
This is because intercourse will never be satisfactory for the woman, and indeed may be extremely unsatisfactory if she is subject to long periods of thrusting without adequate lubrication.
Conversely for the man, while soreness of the penis is a possibility, it’s likely that he’s going to get extremely frustrated, his sexual self-esteem is going to diminish, and he’s going to be left with a feeling of inadequacy and dissatisfaction that he is not able to satisfy his partner during sexual intercourse.
Now this is hardly a satisfactory recipe for sexual harmony in a marriage – or indeed in a relationship between two partners who love each other. So what’s to be done about this problem?
The first question you might well be asking yourself is why a man should ever be unable to ejaculate! And especially during intercourse – it runs counter to everything we expect of men, where premature ejaculation is clearly a much more serious and common problem for men who are trying to make love to a woman.
The answer to this is very hard to establish without a detailed investigation of the psychology of the man concerned, an exploration of why he’s experiencing these difficulties, and how it is that he fails to ejaculate in an ordinary way – reaching the point of ejaculation without much difficulty….
But generally speaking, 99 times out of a 100, the cause of delayed ejaculation is emotional, a psychological problem such as hatred or anger or resentment towards the female partner, or a more generalized difficulty that the man has in “opening himself up” (emotionally speaking) to be intimate and connect with another person.
Now I know this is very sweeping, but broadly speaking it’s regarded by most therapists as a problem that can’t be solved easily; however the truth of the matter is that with willingness and clear intention on the part of the man and his partner to overcome these difficulties, this problem can almost always be solved.
If you’re in a situation where you want to understand delayed ejaculation much better, perhaps if you’re a man who has delayed ejaculation, or a female partner to such a man, and you want to overcome the difficulties inherent in not being able to reach orgasm during intercourse, then this may well help you if you cannot come in your quest to ejaculate normally.
In fact, it’s likely to help even if you can come, because it offers generalized advice both from people who have severe delayed ejaculation – such as the men who cannot come during masturbation, as well as those who have milder forms of DE in which they are able to ejaculate during intercourse, but only with great difficulty.
By the way, many porn films feature people – men – who have degree of delayed ejaculation, and are able to thrust a long period of time before reaching orgasm. Is quite deleterious to the average man self-esteem to compare himself with such ridiculous performances which are driven by biological defects such as delayed ejaculation.
Now, I’m not referring to delayed ejaculation as a defect in the sense of some kind of moral deficiency, but in terms of the reduced satisfaction and pleasure that the partners in a relationship can achieve during sexual intercourse when this dysfunction is prevalent.
Because the kind of man who experiences delayed ejaculation often finds it difficult to communicate to his partner, his situation is often made worse by the fact that communication between the partners inevitably leads to conflict and disharmony over a long period of time.
No matter how willing his woman might be to engage in dialogue, the man finds it impossible to broach the subject and talk about his sexual issues, so often professional counselling or therapeutic help is a good idea to overcome this difficulty and establish good communication.
On the other hand, there’s a lot to be said for working this out between yourselves in your relationship at home, because that’s where the problem centers – in the relationship. Delayed ejaculation isn’t a particularly male problem or a particularly female problem: it’s a relationship problem, and it’s up to both partners to find a way of talking about it so that they can resolve their sexual difficulties.
This page outlines the guidelines generally applied by therapists for learning ejaculatory control nowadays.
As you are probably already aware, premature ejaculation is by far the most common male sexual dysfunction.
The vast majority of adolescent boys and young adults will experience rapid ejaculation in their first sexual experiences. However, a large proportion of adult men – anywhere between 30 and 75%, according to the definition you apply – will also experience premature or rapid ejaculation. (If you’re interested, it’s worth remembering that women can also ejaculate. See this for more.)
It’s important to note that quick ejaculation during sexual intercourse is not necessarily a problem: if a couple have integrated other sexual practices into their sexual relationship, they may be happy with short-lived intercourse, and there may be no reason for them to seek treatment.
Unfortunately, however, such couples may well be a minority, although figures do not exist demonstrate whether this is so or not. What is certain is that for couples where either the man or his partner are dissatisfied with the duration of intercourse, early ejaculation can be a painful problem. For men whose problem centers on making a woman come, this is helpful information about taking a woman to orgasm.
The consequences can range from lowered sexual self-esteem to self denigration, expressing anger towards the self or towards the partner, or avoiding sex altogether. For men who do not have a regular partner, rapid ejaculation can be very emotionally distressing since it may lead to them avoiding sexual relationships or not even dating.
So what can be done about it?
In the past, the recommended and most common treatment technique has been the “squeeze technique”.
This is a treatment based on the observation that firm pressure applied between the frenulum and the opposite side of the coronal rim of the glans penis prior to ejaculation can both soften a man’s erection and reduce his desire to ejaculate.
This effect seems to be modulated through a reduction in sexual arousal. Reports have often suggested that the squeeze technique is ineffective in acting as a long-term treatment for PE, and it is true that new methods of treatment seem to be more effective.
We should not forget, however, that radically different approaches to therapy may also be helpful. For example, yoga has been considered as a tool for the control of premature ejaculation. You can read more about yoga in Somerset and Wiltshire here.
These techniques rely on teaching a man arousal management (which basically means increasing his ability to control the rate at which his sexual arousal increases) as well as offering techniques which can be used in combination to address different areas of the problem.
But treatment methods also depend to some degree on the type of premature ejaculation a man is experiencing. What used to be known as “organic” or “physiological” causation and is now called biological causation will include such predisposing factors as prostate infection, spinal cord or nerve damage, withdrawal from drugs, or, more questionably, a neurological disposition to quick ejaculation.
It’s fair to say that the last of these is rather controversial: while it’s certainly true that some individuals have a nervous system with a lower threshold for arousal than others, it’s not entirely clear that this is a causative factor in a lack of ejaculatory control. For the moment, despite much research which claims to demonstrate either penile hypersensitivity or exaggerated nervous system sensitivity is a causative factor, the matter remains unresolved.
Psychological causes of premature ejaculation include stress, over arousal, relationship conflicts, or a deficiency of psychosexual skills, whether this be as simple as a lack of ability to communicate about sex or a more fundamental lack of knowledge around sexual intimacy, sexual techniques and even ways to pleasure the partner.
In any case, the consequences of premature ejaculation are legion: it interferes with the couple’s sex life and their interaction outside the bedroom too. That’s why men may find this approach helpful to making women come faster and enjoy orgasms.
Yoga and premature ejaculation
For women, common effects are resentment and anger, combined with sexual frustration if she’s not experiencing orgasm, and possibly sadness at the fact that she’s not in a fully sexual relationship, one that is empowering her to achieve her full sexual potential. It’s common to hear women speak of feeling emotionally abandoned when a man stops making love because he has ejaculated too soon, or because he is not addressing the problem.
In this context, of course, “too soon” is an entirely subjective expression, which may incorporate misunderstandings about the possibility of female orgasm during intercourse when a couple are not particularly well-informed on the mechanics of orgasm for women.
For men, the consequences of premature ejaculation include feeling ashamed of sexual failure, or a belief that it’s impossible for the man concerned to please a woman (which again demonstrates a fundamental misunderstanding of what women want from romantic intimate connections with men).
And seeking help may perversely increase a man’s sense of failure, since asking for professional help can add to the shame and prove his sexual inadequacy – at least in his own eyes.
And so, with these antecedents, it’s hardly surprising that men may do nothing about PE – even for years after the problem has become apparent. These problems can of course be accentuated by other sexual concerns like having a small penis….. if that applies to you, see small dick pictures here (you never know, it might reassure you)!
In fact it’s been stated that the average time for a man to seek professional help is around six years, a time period in which the woman can easily come to believe that the man doesn’t care about her feelings (although in the majority of cases therapists report that nothing could be further from the truth).
One of the difficulties about treating premature ejaculation is that the self-help techniques which have been promoted in books and on the Internet for many years simply do not reduce arousal or prevent a man ejaculating quickly: these techniques include distraction (biting one’s lip, focusing on non-arousing thoughts such as taxes, baseball games or road kill), and using multiple condoms or desensitization creams.
Indeed, such distraction techniques actually make things worse because they reduce a man’s pleasure, and take him away from real connection and interaction with his partner. This may make her feel even more abandoned, and can lead to erectile dysfunction in extreme cases, because the man has successfully reduced his arousal to a very low level.
It’s therefore unsurprising that dealing with premature ejaculation usually requires a combination of techniques, all to be applied and used with considerable dedication.
At the moment an effective treatment modality appears to be (1) emphasizing the need for attention to what is going on in the man’s mind & body during sex – in particular, investigating whether or not he’s relying on fantasy or distraction – and then ensuring he is expressing his feelings, and (2) helping him learn to reduce anxiety through relaxation techniques, and (3) equipping him with a set of behaviors which allow him to pace his arrival at the “point of no return”.
As you may expect, it can be quite challenging for a man to effectively regulate all these three aspects of sexual response during a time when he’s probably highly sexually aroused anyway.
To summarize, effective PREMATURE EJACULATION treatment requires attention to 3 areas:
1) Becoming aware of the level of sensual and sexual arousal that one is experiencing whilst also maintaining relaxation of the body and mind. The fundamental basis of this technique is allowing sexual arousal to stem from one’s own physical and mental arousal rather than from involvement with one’s partner (e.g. the sight of her body, or the scent of her arousal) or from internal fantasy. This, of course, is a fundamental shift of awareness from “other” to “self” during sexual activity; it recognizes the principle that sexual pleasure and satisfaction come from one’s own arousal and not from one’s partner’s pleasure or arousal. And that, for many men with PE, is a radically new way of thinking.
2) Better ejaculatory control through learning various “new” or at least different ways of thinking and behaving during sex: these are explained in a moment.
3) Being more relaxed with one’s lover, and co-operating with her in a way that is agreeable to her as well as pleasurable and satisfying to both partners, and learning techniques that can please her more satisfactorily.
The essence of sexual pleasure and good sexual functioning is physiological relaxation. This fact can be counterintuitive: most men assume that sexual arousal is simply dependent upon anxiety or excitement, induced perhaps by the sight of the partner naked and the anticipation of sexual intercourse.
Yet, the truth is that for the body to engage in a natural sequence of sexual responses it needs to be physiologically relaxed. In other words, the natural, uninhibited and effective progression of sexual reflexes to the point of ejaculation can only take place when the interplay of the autonomic and sympathetic nervous system’s reflexes is occurring in a physiologically relaxed body.
This means that any good therapy for PE will require a man to learn specific relaxation techniques, both as a foundation for ejaculatory control and as a part of other treatment methods. The term given to the state in which this is possible is called “self-entrancement” arousal.
“Self-entrancement arousal” means, in practical terms, that a man will be focusing on the sensations and experiences occurring in his own body so that he becomes more familiar with his responses to sexual stimuli. Most men with premature ejaculation automatically focus on their partner, or indeed upon erotic material outside of the relationship – e.g. using fantasy to increase arousal.
Most men with premature ejaculation (check this site out if you wish to cure it) have learned this way of becoming aroused, but while it is enjoyable it does not provide a man with the means to control his own level of arousal – which is more or less what would you would expect if the source of arousal is “outside” of yourself and yet you are constantly in contact with it, as a man is with his partner during sex.
The most dramatic example of how “partner involvement” or “out of body focus on sexual arousal” plays out in PE is summed up in the fact that so many men with PE say they are surprised when they ejaculate. This is usually because they are not focusing on their own body or its sensations. They simply do not know when they are going to come.
So the first step in teaching ejaculatory control is to allow the man to adopt another arousal style which has been termed “sensual self entrancement arousal.” As you may expect, this takes the focus away from one’s partner to one’s own physical sensations, one’s own bodily sensations. When a man has learned to become aroused by his own sensations he has laid the foundation for greater control of his sexual arousal. Another approach is described here.
By focusing upon his own physical sensations – call this “arousal awareness” – and then how to manage his arousal cognitive and behaviorally – call this “arousal management” – he can both facilitate bodily relaxation, overcome disassociation from his own body, and give up using distraction techniques.
A practical example of this would be giving the man techniques to help him focus upon the pleasurable sensations that he receives from his penis rather than focusing on his partner’s breasts, on sexual fantasy, or on the distractions with which he tries to delay his ejaculation.
The BASHH special interest group for sexual dysfunction, chaired by Daniel Richardson, has made a series of recommendations for the management of premature ejaculation. These recommendations were published in the International Journal of STD and AIDS 2006, number 17, pages 1-6.
In the introduction, the authors make the observation that orgasm and ejaculation complete the sexual response for the human male. This sequence of events is made up of three separate mechanisms: emission, ejection, and orgasm. Ejaculation is a reflex mechanism which is composed of sensory receptors, afferent nerve pathways, and sensory areas in the cerebral cortex, together with associated spinal motor areas, and afferent pathways. The reflex of ejaculation is determined by a sophisticated interplay between serotonergic and dopaminergic neurons, with the additional involvement of various other neuronal pathways, including oxytocinergic neurons. Finally, seminal emission and ejaculation are correctly integrated into sexual responses during intercourse through the action of various forebrain and midbrain structures.
Premature Ejaculation – Prevalence
As any student in this area knows, premature ejaculation, or PE, is one of the most frequently reported sexual dysfunction in men. Even so, this is not help to clarify the prevalence of PE in the average human population. Self-reported study of American men aged between 18 and 59 years of age discovered that about a third of them would admit they have incurred during at least one month over the past year. For more details of the conduct of the United Kingdom involving 5000 men between the ages of 16 and 44 discovered that as few as 2.7% had experienced problems relating to their ability to last long enough in bed that continued for a period of 6 months or more during the past year.
These figures simply don’t match up to the clinical experience of therapists working in the field, some of whom have even suggested that premature ejaculation is so common that it is actually “normal” amongst men. Furthermore, as the authors of the BASHH study pointed out, there are significant overlaps in the distribution of ejaculation delay in men who regard themselves as having premature ejaculation and those who do not consider themselves to suffer from the condition. Clearly, one must conclude that other features of ejaculatory behavior should be considered: the most obvious ones being the degree of control man has over his ejaculation, and the distress caused to him and his partner by the short period of intercourse which they enjoy.
Premature Ejaculation – Definition
It’s hardly surprising in these circumstances that there is no universally accepted definition of this sexual dysfunction. As long ago as the 1950s, Masters and Johnson suggested that PE should be defined in relationship to a man’s inability to control his orgasm and ejaculation for long enough so that the woman with whom he was having intercourse could reach orgasm at least half the time.
Modern authors, well aware of the difficulty of women reaching orgasm during intercourse, will hardly regard this as a satisfactory definition. Even so, there is no doubt that many more women could achieve orgasm during intercourse than actually do, if men were able to control their ejaculation more effectively and knew how to last longer in bed.
Other studies have produced definitions which center on the number of thrusts the man can achieve before he ejaculates. Scientific studies, as reported in the relevant journals, have often resorted to using the measure known as intravaginal ejaculatory latency time, or IELT, determined by the female partner using a stop watch. The disadvantages of such a protocol need hardly be pointed out. As a result, it is probably no surprise that a vague definition has been determined by the American Association of Psychiatrists: they define PE as persistent or recurrent ejaculation with minimal sexual satisfaction, before or shortly after penetration. Part of this definition implies that the condition causes distress or interpersonal difficulties and is not due to any other other factors such as withdrawal from drugs.
In my experience, working with men who have PE, it is generally clear that most (but not all) men with PE have had a tendency to ejaculate rapidly since their earliest sexual encounters, so PE has been divided into two categories – primary (lifelong) and acquired or secondary, which implies that a man’s initial attempts at sexual intercourse have been satisfactory but that his ejaculation response time began to shorten at some point during his adult sexual “career”.
Etiology of PE
The cause of premature ejaculation has never been fully understood although this fact has not stopped scientists putting forward various hypotheses. Most reliably, one can divide the causes of any sexual dysfunction into the physical and emotional, otherwise known as organic and psychogenic, respectively. The first cause is rather easier to identify than the second: it includes things such as pelvic injury, chronic prostatitis, vascular disease, and hypogonadal hypertrophy. A great deal of work has been conducted on psychopharmacological studies, and as result that it has been suggested that premature ejaculation might be caused by changes in central serotonergic neurotransmission, possibly as a result of 5 hydroxytryptamine receptor hypersensitivity.
Unfortunately, the psychodynamic theories that have been put forward offer an equally compelling and satisfactory explanation for this condition.
BASHH recommendations for treatment
To start with, recommendations are that the doctor should thoroughly assess the patient to discover whether the problem is primary or secondary, or if it is associated with drug use, psychiatric history, sexual desire disorder, or erectile difficulties. In addition, as you can see from the comments above about the origin of PE, it is necessary to obtain information about any specific urinary symptoms or evidence of prostatitis. A clinical examination of the penis and the man’s genitals is also necessary, together with an assessment of his physical, emotional and mental state.
The focus of treatment should be always to increase sexual satisfaction in both patient and partner as well as alleviating concerns about whether or not his sexual performance is adequate. In this context, simple education about sexual norms and behavior, as well as explaining how sexual interaction can be effectively negotiated between partners in a relationship, may be of fundamental importance.
Specific Treatment Strategies
Behavioral treatments including cognitive behavioral techniques.
The squeeze technique is one of the oldest techniques for PE, developed by Dr James Semans in the 1950s. To apply the squeeze technique, the man’s penile glans is squeezed firmly between the thumb and two fingers of the same hand at the level of the frenulum. Pressure is applied until the man’s erection softens. Usually, it is the man’s partner who applies pressure using one hand, her thumb over the subcoronal frenular region, and her index finger and forefinger placed together on the distal shaft of the penis on the opposite side. Read more here about how to last longer in bed .
And delayed ejaculation, by contrast, can be seen as the opposite of premature ejaculation, in that both are ejaculatory dysfunctions.
One allows a man to ejaculate normally, albeit within a very short time scale, whilst the other prevents him from ejaculating at all. It’s hard to know which of these dysfunctions is the more inconvenient or distressing. To some extent it probably depends on the emotional disposition of the man, because in my experience premature ejaculation is linked to anxiety, whereas delayed ejaculation is most often experienced by men who have some kind of deficiency in emotional feeling.
I’m not referring to anything deleterious or denigratory – what I mean when I say this is that men with delayed ejaculation often have an internal emotional mechanism which prevents them feeling everything – especially during sex – as acutely as they could. Perhaps one could see this as a result of historical trauma or childhood experience which was broadly speaking negative or unhelpful.
The fact that is that when a man is cut off from his feelings, particularly during sexual activity, he lacks the input and stimulus necessary to promote sexual arousal and normal sexual excitement developing. This is critical for his sexual response cycle to progress normally, and if it does not, the man will not reach his point of ejaculatory inevitability.
So you can see men who have delayed ejaculation have a low level of arousal during sexual intercourse; very often they can succeed at reaching orgasm during masturbation because they can use either pornography or extreme sexual fantasy that turns them on sufficiently to ejaculate. During sex with a partner, neither porn nor fantasy comes into play – men with delayed ejaculation often focus attention on their partners – and so arousal remains low ejaculation escapes them.
The cure lies in the use of a training program which allows men to learn how to focus on their emotional and sensory experience during sex with a partner, and become aroused by what is happening in the sexual encounter – in particular, the man needs to become aroused by the sexual touch, scent, and sight of his partner – and his own body.
Manifestation applies to every aspect of life – including sexual desire
Now one of the things that I know from many years working with men and women in sex therapy role is that sexual pleasure is often regarded as something which is the product of mechanical process – finding a better technique, finding a better sex position, finding some key to magnificent female orgasms, or generally just finding some way of improving the physical interaction of two bodies.
But as you may well be aware, the fact is that female orgasms are not generally dependent on sex positions alone! A woman sexual desire is very different indeed to that of a man’s, where the simple stimulus of a naked woman is generally enough to trigger an orgasm – and often sooner rather than later! Indeed, the fact of the matter is that women’s sexual desire is a mystery to most men. And as for the female orgasm that’s a mystery beyond understanding!
But this really matters – because although most of us don’t understand it, intimate and successful sex is the key to a successful relationship, and without that, most couples will eventually find that their interest in each other wanes, and they become – well, to be honest “bored” – with each other.
Now I’m all for enhancing sexual enjoyment by finding new sex positions which offer great joy and physical pleasure, but it’s a truism that for sex to be sustained within a relationship, it’s necessary for both partners to have an emotional interaction which goes far beyond the physicality of sexual intercourse.
Of course, there’s no doubt that physical intimacy is necessary for a good relationship – and yet the same time there is much to learn even on the physical level, particularly for a lot of women who aren’t confident about achieving female orgasm (although it’s fair to say that the Internet has provided massive education in this area for a lot of women in recent years).
The men, the physical learning is all about controlling ejaculation which is unduly premature – which is very necessary, and regrettably comparatively uncommon. (I mean the effort to control premature ejaculation is uncommon, not the condition itself!)
The Law of Attraction, intimacy and sexual relationships
Now please don’t misunderstand me I’m not suggesting that you actually have to use the principles of Law of Attraction to have a good sexual relationship – because that would clearly be ridiculous.
What I’m suggesting is that if you actually are looking for a sexual relationship, or if you have an inadequate sexual relationship and you don’t know what to do about it, but you know that you do wish to improve it, or there is a lack of intimacy in your life, then the principles behind the law of attraction are absolutely the right ones for you to use to change your situation for the better.
I mean think about it! Manifestation, a process of getting what you want, by using the principles of the Law of Attraction, is all about your ability to get what you want in life.
The essence of manifestation is an educated and informed way of using your mind to reprogram your expectations about life so that you can in fact enjoy exactly what you want in life – be it wealth, good relationship, a great job, living in a place that makes your heart sing with joy… Absolutely anything is a subject which you can use the law of attraction to manifest.
Now the essence of the law of attraction is programming your subconscious mind with a different set of expectations the ones that it holds at the moment – so ask yourself this: if you’re in a relationship the quality of which does not match up to your expectations or desires, why is that?
Similarly if you’re enjoying sex which falls below the standard that you expect to enjoy, why is that?
The truth of the matter must be this: that your beliefs about yourself your ability in the world to hold a sexual relationship, and about your sexual ability are limiting your capacity to express fully your natural innate sexual joy and talent.
If so, then it follows, does it not, that what you need do is change the beliefs you hold about yourself which limit your sexual expression?
One of the essential features behind the reprogramming the subconscious mind, which holds all the beliefs that you enjoy (or not) is visualization. As you’re probably very well aware, visualization is a process by which you picture – preferably in an altered state of consciousness – a desired outcome which you wish to manifest in your life.
The universe will always respond, without fail, to an outcome which is expressed in an altered state of consciousness known as the Alpha brainwave frequency, which is visualized in a relaxed physical state with complete belief and absolute certainty.
Now, if you visualize yourself in a perfect sexual relationship which is meeting all your needs, providing all the things that you want in terms of both physical satisfaction, physical intimacy, and emotional intimacy, then it’s a guaranteed given that you will actually manifest the ideal partner for you book, the one who is capable of realizing all your dreams.
Having said that, I’m aware that many people actually have tried manifesting a perfect sexual relationship by visualizing the person who – at least in their imagination – is exactly right for them. Sadly, they often report failure in their attempts to do this.
Why should that be? The answer is probably because people don’t completely believe in what they’re trying to do: we know that one of the eight pre-requisites for successful manifestation is absolute belief and complete certainty in what you’re doing. In other words you actually have to completely believe that the process is going to be successful in manifesting what you want, and you absolutely have to believe that you’re worthy of whatever it is you’re trying to achieve.
I’m sure at this stage you can see that this technique is quite sophisticated, and takes everyone far beyond the simple expectation that changing sexual positions is going to produce a massive improvement in the quality of your sex life: life simply doesn’t work like that.
Manifestation is, as many of you already know, process that spiritual and physical in nature, but it requires a certain number of pre-requisites to be fulfilled, including absolute belief, complete certainty, total expectation, clarity of intention, and the ability to meditate on the eight desired outcome whilst residing in a slightly altered state of consciousness.
Perhaps this list of requirements is too much for most people, his level of consciousness is probably not evolved beyond the simple expectation that life is an unchanging pattern that they cannot control.
For those of us who are slightly more enlightened, the knowledge that we can change limiting beliefs, and that then we can expand our horizons and expectations so as to get what we want from the universal process of manifestation offers the greatest encouragement for a better sex life and a more intimate physicality.
This is a kind of intimacy that goes far beyond simply altering sex positions on a weekly basis in the never-ending search – which is almost certainly doomed to failure – for physical pleasure.
Those of you who have been thinking of The Adonis Golden Ratio as a weight loss and diet plan, think again!
The truth of the matter is that the Adonis golden ratio is an all-round fitness program, which can improve your life in many areas, including your sex life. It is, in short, a sexual fitness program!
To be brief, when you’re fit, all the muscles of your body enable you to engage in more vigorous sexual activity, which is going to be more enjoyable for you and your partner.
In addition, your pubococcygeal muscles, which are a vital part of the sensations that you experience it orgasm, are going to be more powerful, will contract more fiercely when you come, and will allow you to enjoy your orgasm even more.
Furthermore, when you’re fit and healthy, and exercising regularly, you’re actually going to be much less stressed and feeling better about yourself than if you’re sitting on the couch eating bags of potato chips.
So although that’s a rather ludicrous and extreme example, there’s no doubt that feeling fit reduces stress, exercise makes you feel better about yourself, and Eating a good diet and losing weight enables you to enjoy sexual activity more.
One of the reasons that eating a good diet is particularly important is because if you’re eating lots of fat, you’re going to be clogging your arteries with both saturated and unsaturated fat, and the consequence of that can easily be erectile dysfunction and semirigid erections — particularly as a man moves into midlife.
So for wonderful sex I’m recommending The Adonis Golden Ratio….
Now of course, you’re not going to find anywhere in the Adonis golden ratio recommendation that you buy it to improve your sex life!
Now of course everything that I’ve said above is true for women as well as men, and there is a program for women called the Venus Factor by John Barban, who also wrote the Adonis Golden Ratio.
This too is a program for a rapid weight loss, getting fit, and exercising.
I need hardly point out, I’m sure, that a couple who are fit and healthy, who aren’t carrying excess pounds, who have strong erections, high levels of fitness, good stamina, and aerobic fitness as well, will enjoy a great sex life…
And that’s not only because the act of sex is more rewarding, but also because they will feel much more desire for each other.
When you think about it, there are almost no reasons why anybody who cared about their well-being, let alone of the quality of their sex life, would not take part in these two health and fitness programs!
So, what do you get when you join?
Well first of all, you get a highly individualized program of diet and exercise — which means that you have something to you and to your physiology and your objectives.
Whether you want to lose weight, get fit, achieve aerobic fitness, or any combination of these factors, the program that you get when you join will enable you to do the optimum level of exercise and give you the optimal diet that stands the most chance of helping you to achieve your objectives.
That’s true for both men and women, although It’s important to understand that one of the factors that really makes it easier to achieve fitness is MOTIVATION!
Yes, motivation really is critically important, but then when you think about the rewards, they ought to be motivation enough!
For example, the thought that you won’t get erectile dysfunction due to fat clogging up your penile arteries is pretty compelling from men moving into their midlife….
But just a very fact that you can enjoy different sex positions more easily, that you can try out different sex positions to your hearts content, in fact, is another great motivation.
Because, let’s face it, some of the positions listed on this site are rather extreme and quite challenging — and probably not going to be available to anybody who hasn’t got high level of flexibility and fitness. And again, these are things that you get from the Adonis Index program and the Venus Factor program, for men and women respectively.
No mention of the fact that motivation is important when you’re trying to get fit, and just to close this brief piece, it’s worth mentioning that one of the big assets for any member of the Adonis golden ratio system or the Venus factor community, is the fact that they’re going to be part of a large community of thousands of people who are all rooting for them, who are all trying to achieve the same thing, and who all want the same successful outcome.
Some fabulous advice today if you want a more exciting sex life – the coital alignment technique offers great rewards and the possibility of female orgasm during intercourse.
Check out how to adapt missionary sex using the coital alignment technique here. And if you really want to know some more sex techniques, then this may be useful for you too! While Tumblr has loads of pretty pornographic blogs, this one at least has a degree of decency about it!
Cognitive techniques that changes a man’s thinking during sex, combined with behavioral pacing techniques that slow down his approach to orgasm, combined with relaxation to calm feelings of anxiety, may be an ideal starting point for a man who wishes to control his premature ejaculation during intercourse.
In other words, therefore, effective treatment of premature ejaculation involves three steps: learning to become sensuously and sensually aroused, and making the transition from this state of arousal into sexual arousal, while simultaneously maintaining a state of physiological relaxation.
What this means is that a man can become sexually aroused because he himself is fully invested in the sexual act, rather than because he’s been aroused by merely seeing his partner or anticipating sex.
Here’s a video on premature ejaculation by Rod Phillips
The second step is to learn conscious control of premature ejaculation by changing thinking and behavior, using techniques that enable man to resist the rapid increase in sexual arousal and a fast approach to the point of no return. The third element is that of comfortable corporation with a lover, ensuring that the man knows how to please her satisfactorily.
However, as far as sexual positions for controlling premature ejaculation are concerned, the best is by far the side-by-side sex position. It has been said many times on the Internet that this is a good position for sexual intercourse for men who come quickly, but the reason why this statement has been made is because it is absolutely true!
The fact is that the side-by-side sex position puts far less pressure on the man’s penis than any other sex position, while still allowing women to feel a great deal of pleasure from the pressure of the penis against the internal tissues of the vaginal wall. In this way, the needs of both partners in the sexual act can be satisfied, giving the manner great chance of prolonging lovemaking, while still pleasing the woman.
It’s certainly true that the lack of sensation a man feels may make him initially feel that he’s getting less pleasure from sexual intercourse than he otherwise would, but the reality of the matter is that this long buildup to orgasm will ultimately make his orgasm much more pleasurable.
It’s a fact that when sexual pleasure is prolonged, and the process of arousal extended by using sex positions which cause less stimulation to the penis, ultimately one’s orgasm and emotional fulfillment are much greater.
Though this may be a strange fact, it’s absolutely true, and it emphasizes that sex positions like man on top, where the man is able to thrust deeply and achieve a rapid and satisfying orgasm, are not necessarily designed in any way for female pleasure, but only to satisfy the needs of the man.
It’s also true, therefore. that anything which the man finds highly arousing, like rear entry sex, will also have the same impact on his sexual performance — that is to say, his performance will deteriorate, and the speed of his ejaculation will increase. Now as challenging as it may be to use sex positions which delay orgasm and overcome premature ejaculation in this way, it will ultimately be a great advantage to the relationship.
Curing Premature Ejaculation Isn’t Just About Sex
After all, sacrificing your own sexual pleasure to prolong intercourse is a very generous gesture of showing you want to please your partner, and allowing her to gain satisfaction. It will not have escaped you, either, that the other significant advantage of the side-by-side sex position is that the woman is able to stimulate her clitoris — or indeed, the man can do it for her.
All of these advantages, including the fact that the man and woman can fondle each other’s breasts, can kiss, and can talk, while being able to look each other in the eye, and also the fact that they can pause during intercourse, — all of these are things which add to the pleasure and satisfaction of sex if the couple are aiming for greater intimacy and emotional connection during penetration and lovemaking.
One of the things about positions such as the man on top is that they can rapidly become a means for ejaculation control – a sex position like this enables both partners to gain a great deal of satisfaction and pleasure, allowing intimacy to be re-established, and that in itself allows the man to establish greater control over his ejaculation. You can read much more here – The Female Orgasm Blueprint.
The way this works is that when intimacy and sexual connection are really established deeply between the couple, the man’s anxiety decreases significantly — and as you may well aware, anxiety is a very significant factor in the genesis of premature ejaculation.
Many men have emotional control alongside physical control, and it’s to everybody’s advantage that this should be so, because the sex act is ultimately both more meaningful and more pleasurable using positions like side-by-side sex, which mean that the man may eventually be able to ejaculate with complete control, or at least with significantly more control than he has hitherto been able to establish.
After establishing control, it is likely that the man is going to find he’s far less excited by the act of sexual intercourse then he previously was — and here, by excited, what we mean is excited in an uncontrolled way, in a way that takes his arousal rapidly towards the point of no return, the point ejaculatory inevitability, and causes him to ejaculate more or less uncontrollably.
Its incumbent on every couple to experiment with sexual positions to find the ones that make them less likely to ejaculate prematurely, of the man to be able to go on and make love for as long as his partner desires.
Ultimately of course, the final objective of war men seeking greater ejaculatory control is to be able to orgasm by command, to ejaculate by choice, that is to say when a man feels that he is chief satisfaction and woman is able to reach orgasm. In most cases of woman orgasm during intercourse she will trigger the man’s orgasm since the experience is simply too exciting for him to resist any longer.
Nonetheless this is a good compromise, and gives both partners great pleasure, therefore we highly recommend not only techniques to control premature ejaculation, but sexual positions which prolong the act of lovemaking. Only in this way is a member of the establish effective control over premature ejaculation.
One of the more interesting aspects of various sex positions is the possibility that they hold as therapy for various sexual dysfunctions. For example, we all know that a lot of men experience premature ejaculation; what may not be quite so well known is the fact that depending on the position that the man adopts during intercourse with his partner, it may be possible for him to significantly extend the duration of intercourse.
So, for example, a man who finds the rear entry position particularly arousing, is not going to find his staying power increase significantly if he makes love in this position. It’s simply too arousing him to be able to extend the duration of intercourse and improve his ejaculatory control. However, if a man in this position chooses to use the side-by-side for making love, he will find immediately that he is able to last much longer before he ejaculates.
This is because this is a position which is extremely satisfying for the woman but simultaneously puts considerably less pressure on the man’s penis, by allowing him to make love without the danger of ejaculating too soon. interestingly enough, delayed ejaculation is the converse of this condition, involving a reflex ejaculate through response to making love which is considerably delayed — or even non-existent. What this means in practice, is that a man with delayed ejaculation we find it absolutely impossible to ejaculate during intercourse, in fact which deprives both him and his partner of considerable satisfaction and pleasure during the act of lovemaking.
There is still debate about the origin and causation of delayed ejaculation: to this day it is not entirely clear what causes it, however we do know is that it’s extremely unlikely that it’s due to physical conditions such as an insensitive penis or slow ejaculatory reflexes. Only in cases of nerve damage due to conditions like diabetic neuropathy or muscular sclerosis is there likely to be physical condition underlying the delayed ejaculation.
As you may have gathered, this means that delayed ejaculation is usually due to emotional or psychological causes that almost invariably develop in the relationship.
One of the interesting things about treating delayed ejaculation is that it isn’t necessary to address the emotional issues in every case. For example, if you prescribed a treatment method which involved establishing greater intimacy and sensual connection on a physical level, and the couple applied these techniques assiduously, you would almost always find that the emotional difficulties which might be responsible for the delayed ejaculation also disappeared fairly quickly. (An exception would be when the relationship was already in dire trouble and was unlikely to be saved by therapy.)
Now, it may not actually be the necessary for a couple to see a sex therapist for treatment for delayed ejaculation. I would advise any couple who have difficulty with delayed ejaculation to try using those sex positions which the man finds most exciting or arousing. This may be the converse of the solution for premature ejaculation — using, say, the rear entry sex position because that is what he finds most exciting.
I do however want to emphasize that this alone may not be enough to cure the condition. Delayed ejaculation can be a pernicious and difficult condition to overcome without effective treatment. This means that while you can do a great deal with self-help, such as using the most arousing sex position for the man, you may need to do other things as well — and here I’m talking about things such as providing additional stimulation to the man by identifying and stimulating his most erogenous zones.
This might mean, for example, anal stimulation during intercourse, or perhaps nipple and anal stimulation. Now, I know the physical dynamics of sexual activity between a couple don’t always wear for easy access to the partner’s anus, so one way of achieving this might be to use a vibrator during intercourse, inserted into the man’s anus, using ample lubrication, and attached to a cable so that it can be withdrawn easily. For hygiene reasons you might wish to enclose the vibrator in a condom.
Rear entry sex position of the day – does daily sex get any better?
It’s very lustful, isn’t it? And that’s probably what makes this sex position so arousing for men and women alike!
It just taps into our most sexy urges and desires to mate swiftly and fiercely. And so arousing is this sex position of the day that it can speed up a man’s climax and make him orgasm with great intensity, turned on by the sight of his penis thrusting in and out of the woman;s body!
For men, this sex position offers many different thrills – the feel of her bottom as his balls swing against her vulva, the ability to hold his partner tight, and the lustful way she can move with him….
As you can guess, this sex position of the day is not the best for men who need to last longer in bed for men! But even so, a couple can enjoy this sexual position every day – there are many variaitons. The woman can kneel with her chest up or down, and her pelvis low down or high up. Such movements will let the man’s erection enter her vagina at different angles and alter the sensations they both enjoy.
She can move so as to get greater stimulation and pleasure; she can match her man’s thrusts or she can remain still in this sex position and receive his thrusts. As he thrusts, her man can fondle her breasts or clitoris. And he can indulge his desire to possess her by holding her tight or he can lean back and see himself thrusting in and out of her. WOW! What a great sex position of the day!
If you’re not used to trying new positions when you have sex, make this the day you get some new excitement in bed!
Now – why would you want to make this a sex position of the day? It’s a variation on rear entry, of course, and men find this very excting. Here are some tips on how to make this sex position of the day even better!
Have the woman lying on her stomach, with the man kneeling behind her. He can position his legs ether inside or outside hers, and he can easily insert his penis. He may need to adjust the angle of penetration to get into this sex position of the day, and she may may need to raise or lower her pelvis so that he can easily slip his cock into her pussy. But when he’s in, she can move her legs apart or together, which will increase the friction on his penis and make the sex position feel even better!
He can then thrust into her as slowly or as quickly as s/he prefers, using two hands to hold her around the waist or using one to play with her breasts and clitoris. Deep penetration and a sense of taking his partner is great for the man in this sexy sex position of the day, while he can also easily thrust against the upper inside wall of his partner’s vagina, where her G-spot is located.
The intensity of this sexual position of the day means that many man tend to come quickly – which makes it a great position to end a day’s lovemaking. This day’s sex position is, overall, very sexually arousing and exciting for the man. This is certainly in the top ten favorite sex positions of the day for men.
Andf of course, as with all these sex positions of the day, there are many little changes and variations which a couple can enjoy discovering all by themselves, and which may add an extra dimension to the day’s experince of sex! It’s all about the angle of the man’s erect penis in the woman’s receptive vagina, and of course, the fact that men can enjoy the sight of the female partner’s rear. There’s a real lustful satisfaction in this for a lot of men – and women, too!
All in all, rear entry sex positions of the day are good for a quick session of sex. And remember that sometimes you can enjoy sex more successfully in this sex position of the day if the woman places a pillow under her hips to hoick them up a bit. This makes it easier for for the man to penetrate her.